Elder Farr's final words before coming home.

I have loved every minute of my mission! The experiences I have had over the past two years have changed my life. Just the thought of this journey coming to an end makes me want to burst out bawling.  I will never forget the spiritual experiences I have had.  The Lord has been so merciful to me and has shown me so many miracles.  I am grateful that He has used me, an unworthy servant, as a tool to accomplish His great work.  My Savior has been with me every step of the way and I know that He was the author of every miracle.  I am grateful that I had the opportunity to teach about Christ and His Atonement.  The opportunity to proclaim His everlasting gospel!  I am even more grateful for the testimony that the Lord has given me which has brought so much joy and hope to me.  I know that Christ is our Savior and Redeemer and that it is only through Him and His everlasting Atonement that we can return to our Heavenly Father with our family and friends.  He has always shown us the way by revealing His Gospel, which teaches us all how to live our lives in a way that we can become perfected and live with God.  His gospel was Restored a final time to the Prophet Joseph Smith and His Church is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  How privileged we are to be members of His Church! I will always be indebted to my Savior for what he has done for me.  At times of my mission I tried to give it all to Him but I found that He gave it all to me.  You cannot out give the Lord and we will always be indebted! Makes me think of one of my favorite scriptures-

Mosiah 2: 

20 I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to the God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another-

21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another- I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

I wish I could sum up how I feel about my mission. I won't go a day of my life without thinking about the experience I had.  I am grateful for all of you and for your support and encouragement! I am so blessed to have the family and friends that I do.  I love you all and will see you too soon! :)

Grandma's Funeral.

Grandma's funeral was to be held on Saturday, February 21, 2015. I had plane tickets to fly to Utah on February 25th because Emerson was coming home from his mission. But the second I found out the funeral was to be on the 21st I knew I had to somehow get to Utah earlier. After many hours online and on the phone we ended up purchasing new tickets with miles instead of using our current flights because it was cheaper to do that. Luckily we'll have some flight credit to use in the future. But mostly I was just relieved that I would be able to be at my grandma's funeral.

My grandma had prepared a little box of her things and funeral plans before she died. As family was looking through this they found that she had requested I play my violin at her funeral. Upon hearing the news I was a bit shocked because I hadn't played my violin since I was a junior in high school, which was around 9 years ago.  You could say I was freaking out a little. The family knew this and so  they said that I didn't have to worry about it. But I knew I wanted to play because that is what my grandma wanted.

So we flew in the day before the funeral at around 6:00 pm. We rushed to my parents house so I could practice the piece at least a few times before my mom's best friend Rebecca Mortenson, who was going to accompany me, came over to practice with me.  I did not have my violin in Oregon so I only had a few hours to practice before I would have to perform. There was a viewing that night that I missed but Olivia was able to go. 

On Saturday as we all arrived at the funeral I could not believe how strong the spirit was throughout the building.  I spent some time saying hi to everyone and running through my piece one final time and then went in to the viewing room.  I was definitely trying to procrastinate going in there because I knew that is where I would see not only my grandma but my grandpa as well. And my heart broke for him. He loved her so dearly and had entirely dedicated himself to her care during her last few years.  She was his best friend, his only love, and she was no longer here. I just didn't think I could bear seeing him. The moment I walked in to the room and saw grandma with grandpa sitting right next to her I lost it. I tried to pull myself together before going up to him to give him a hug but I couldn't.  He was the brave one. 

Grandma was beautiful. It was the first time I've seen her not looking back at me with her beautiful smile that spoke of the unconditional love she had for me. The viewing was perfect. Grandma had written out her final words, her testimony, that she wanted read to us grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her last words were everything I thought they would be coming from grandma. She said over and over again that the gospel is true and begged us to teach her posterity of its truthfulness. To always remain strong. She told us she loved us.

The spirit was so strong in the room. There was so much faith and love coming from every member of the family. It was also a blessing that Emerson and my cousin Matthew were able to Skype from their missions so that they could be a part of everything. The viewing ended with our final goodbyes. I think the hardest part for me was watching my grandpa and aunts and uncles say goodbye to their wife and mother. 

We all followed the casket into the chapel where the services would begin.

The spirit continued to be felt strongly as each child got up and gave a short talk of memories of their mother. In between a few of the talks it was my turn to go up and play the violin. I played the song Ashokan Farewell. It is truly one of the most beautiful songs. I was so nervous but kept telling myself that I was doing it for grandma. That no matter how I played grandma would think it was the most beautiful thing ever. So I played, I don't remember much except for the peace I felt as I finished because I knew she was happy and so proud of me. 

My grandpa was able to share his testimony. It was simple, yet the most powerful testimony I have ever heard. I could feel with all my heart that the church was true as my grandpa bore testimony of it. How blessed I am to have such strong grandparents who have always taught us grandchildren to live the gospel.  Although they did teach us by words they mostly taught through example. 

The services ended with Kia Kamai singing the song Jesu Me Kanaka Wai Wai. A song that meant a lot to my grandma and grandpa. They served a mission in Hawaii and since then have always had a special place in their hearts for all things Hawaii. 

Here are the words to the song in English:

Let me walk through Paradise with you Lord.

Take my hand and lead me there. 

All my earthly treasures I would gladly give.

Teach me how to love, how to share.

Greed and lust and vanity were mine Lord.

'Til I found your love divine.

Now on my knees, I pray that I will find a way. 

Let me walk through Paradise with thee.

A oe O my Lord, my Savior lead me down the long, long road

Faith, hope and trust and charity before thee.

Let me walk through Paradise with you.

As the song ended and her casket was carried out he began to sing the song Aloha Oe.

This song means so much to me and the entire family. I remember we used to sing this song when my grandparents were on their mission. 

We would sing, "Aloha Oe Aloha Oe please bless our grandparents on their mission Aloha Oe Aloha Oe until we meet again."

We all drove out to the Farmington cemetery where we would have the graveside service.

The hardest part for me was seeing my grandpa begin to walk back to the car after the service and then stop turn around and walk back to her casket. He took off his beautiful lei that he had around his neck and gently placed it on her casket. All while saying, "grandmother would have wanted these." It was an act of true love. And for everyone who knows my grandparents knows how beautiful their relationship was and how much they loved each other. 

We all picked little bouquets of flowers from all the arrangements to take home because that is what grandma would have wanted. 

We went back to the church and had a lovely luncheon.

It was an unforgettable day. A day I will remember and cherish forever.

Here are some pictures:

Aunt Melissa and Olivia at the viewing.

This picture and the following ones are of the tables set up with pictures in remembrance of her and the program for the funeral.

This is my favorite picture of my grandparents.

I love you grandma.

I will do everything in my power to live my life in such a way to honor you.

I will teach my children the gospel. They will know my strong testimony and they will know yours. 

Aloha Oe Until we meet again.

My Grandma Farr.

My dear grandma passed away on February 14, 2015.

I will never forget that day and the feelings I experienced.  She had been sick and not doing well for some time. I know without a doubt that she is in a better place. I can only imagine the welcome she received from all her family and friends. Her health will no longer hinder her endless efforts to serve others. And I know without a doubt she will be doing great things.

I would like to write out some of my most favorite memories of her so that my children will always know that they had a very special great-grandma, a great-grandma who loves them and who is undoubtedly watching over them from heaven. I want them to know that she is truly the most beautiful person inside and out. I hope that by sharing some of my most cherished memories of her they will learn through her example and qualities of love, kindness, creativity, patience, and service.

(Olivia and Grandma)

(Clara and Grandma)

My grandma always made sure to express her pure love to us grandchildren and great-grandchildren.  It was impossible to be in her presence without feeling like you were the best thing that ever happened. She always made sure to compliment us on everything we did. Whether we were actually very talented at it, or trying something for the first time, we were amazing. Although there are a lot of Farr grandchildren she always made each of us feel included and loved in our own special way. I have many pictures of her holding Olivia and Clara. She absolutely adored them. Every time I saw her she would go on and on about how precious they were and what a lovely mother I was. I can’t tell you how much this meant to me. 

I remember us gathered around her as she told us stories of our pioneer ancestors and their unwavering faith. She made each of us our very own pioneer dress and bonnet and with the help of our parents assigned us to "be" one of our pioneer ancestors. I was assigned to be Eliza Snow. I read stories about her and in that moment decided that I would be brave no matter what came my way just like she was.  And through my own personal struggles and trials I have often thought of Eliza and that has given me the strength to carry on. She spent much of her time doing family history work. And sharing with us all the stories and things she learned from her ancestors. She taught us how important families were and how important it was to learn about those who have gone before us. 

My grandma absolutely loved dolls. She would buy the most beautiful porcelain dolls and let each of us granddaughters pick one out to keep. I was so young, probably too young to have a doll like that but no matter our age we got one. And I remember feeling so special as I left for home with my brand new doll.  She made me and Sophia these paper dolls that I used to play with for hours and hours. Oh how I love paper dolls. My grandma had suitcases of barbies and barbie clothes.  My cousins and I would spend hours in her room dressing up the dolls in elegant dresses and playing pretend.  For Christmases grandma would give us packages of our very own fancy ball gown dresses and shoes for our barbies. I would play endlessly, often daydreaming about someday being able to wear gowns like that myself. To this day I am absolutely in love with all things dolls. If you gave me some barbie stuff I could spend hours setting up a home for them and yes even playing pretend. I like to think that I got my love for dolls from my grandma. Actually I'm sure I did. 

One of my favorite memories of my grandma is her love for sewing. There was a room downstairs dedicated strictly to all her sewing things. I always loved to go in there and look through her endless boxes of fabric. She was unbelievably talented and could make you anything your mind could make up. Us girls of course loved dress up. She also made lots of costumes. Two of the most memorable costumes she made me were my Dorothy costume and my Danielle de Barbarac costume (she's the Cinderella character in the movie Ever After). I remember giving her a picture of the dress and asking her to make it for me so I could wear it for Halloween. When the dress was finished and I tried it on for the first time I was in love. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever laid eyes on. It was everything I had imagined. I was so excited to show it off at school and wear it not only on Halloween but every other day of the week, holiday or not! She made nearly all of the princess costumes for my twin sisters. She always made two of each costume so that each of them could have her very own. This act goes back to the fact that she always made each of us feel included. We were each our very own special person whom she loved dearly. We still have those princess costumes and I am lucky enough to have had them passed down to me for my two girls. As my girls wear those dresses they will know that their great-grandma spent hours making them because she loved us and wanted nothing more than to make us each feel beautiful. Another one of my favorite things that she made for us was our clown costumes. Each of us grandchildren were made a unique costume to wear to a clown party she was having. Mine was a very large costume, big enough to stuff with lots of pillows so that I could be a big fat clown! I thought it was the funniest thing ever and made sure to stuff my self so much that I could hardly walk! She made costume after costume for the grandchildren as she prepared to put on the Nutcracker. It was just for the family, but boy did she take this seriously! I was so young, but I remember being at the performance running around causing way too much mischief with all my cousins. Yet she was patient and continued on with the show even though her grandkids weren’t taking it seriously. Looking back I feel bad but I am sure she enjoyed every moment of that craziness.

Grandma absolutely loved music. She loved playing the piano and singing. We would often sing songs with her and we loved playing on her piano whether we could play or not. My cousin Mischa was born with some disabilities and she loved teaching him songs and having him perform for the other grandchildren. One of the songs she taught him that I will forever remember is the primary song, "I'll walk with you." Perhaps she did this on purpose, but by teaching him that song she was also teaching her other grandchildren to always be loving and accepting of others no matter what. 

Grandma loved to draw and oil paint. And she was beyond talented at it. When we would go to the house there were often little sketches laying around. Mostly of flowers. To say she loved flowers would be an understatement. She had the most beautiful gardens with all sorts of flowers. All of us granddaughters would go pick bouquets of flowers and show her and she would always smile with pure delight. Never once do I remember her getting after us for picking her beautiful flowers but instead encouraged us to pick them and share them with everyone else. To this day every time I see flowers, I think of her.

One of things I admire most about grandma was her patience. She raised five boys and one girl. And when I asked her what she would do when those boys would get a little too out of control, she told me she would go get a glass (perhaps sometimes a pitcher) of water and throw it on them. And of course that would be the end of that. I have seen her use this technique on them even though they are grown up now! As sweet and kind as grandma was, she definitely had a sense of humor. At my bridal shower every guest was given a card to write down a piece of advice they had for me as Michael and I were about to start our lives together. I will never forget what she wrote on her card. "Always remember to clip your toenails." I laughed at the time, but after over 5 years of marriage and sleeping in the same bed as Michael, I still laugh but know that her advice could not be more correct!

Grandma loved to cook. She always made sure there was plenty of yummy food when we would come visit. Perhaps her most well-known dish was her green jello. She made this for most big family events. It was different every time. You never knew what you might find in there! I think one time there were shrimp! But oh my goodness could she make jam. She made the most delicious apricot jam. It was always best when you poked a hole in a fresh roll and poured it inside. Talk about heavenly.

Most of the time you could always find grandma sucking on a cough drop. When I was little I always thought that was coolest thing and wanted to be just like her. So I would sneak in to her room and get in to the drawers where she kept some serious stashes of the regular honey cough drops and I would take handfuls of them and shove them in to my pockets so I could suck on them later. To this day, I don’t necessarily suck on them for fun but whenever I am sick and in need of a cough drop I always buy the regular honey kind and think of her. 

I will always remember grandma for her strong testimony of the gospel.

 And she always made sure her grandchildren knew she had a testimony. In fact she left her final testimony on earth to be read at her viewing for all her loved ones to hear. When she found out I was going to be married she insisted on giving me enough money to go to the temple store and pick out my temple clothing, so that I wouldn't have to worry about renting things each time. She knew that it would mean so much to have my very own that I would wear my first time in the temple, the day I was married to Michael forever, and every other time I attended. I will always know that the temple was important to my grandma. And it will always be important to me.

Grandma had the most beautiful smile. Every time she smiled the entire room would light up. Love would fill the air and you knew that you were important to her. That she loved you dearly. I love that my dad shares that very same smile. Because every time he smiles I see grandma.

My grandma Farr will always be a part of my life. I look to her as one of my greatest examples. She was absolutely beautiful in every way. As hard as it has been to have her pass away, I know she isn't really gone. She lives. And is watching out for her husband, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren always. I hope as I go through out my life that I will remember all the lessons she taught me through words and mostly by her example.

Valentine's Day shoot with our littles.

These little valentine's of ours sure know how to make our hearts skip a beat.

Happy Valentine's Day!

A lovely Valentines day with my valentine.

Friday, the night before Valentine's Day Michael came home with flowers.  A rose for Olivia, a rose for Clara, and of course a few for me. When he walked in he had a rose and box of chocolates behind his back and asked Olivia if she she would please be his valentine. Her face lit up and she of course said yes!

So he gave her the rose and chocolates and she got so excited that she immediately started talking about how they could get married now. I don't think I have blogged about this yet but Olivia is dead set on marrying Michael. It's beyond cute.

They shared a little dance, cause she just loves dancing with daddy.

And if that wasn't enough to completely make my Valentine's Day he gave me my flowers and favorite chocolate bar and said that after the girls were in bed he would go get take out at Olive Garden and we could eat that and watch a movie together.

I picked Valentine's Day, cause you know that just seemed fitting!

He also brought home a bottle of sparkling raspberry juice. My absolute favorite!

We had the perfect night.

Valentine's Day was a little different this year.

Michael had planned to take me to the beach and we had some friends that offered to watch our littles while we went so we were extremely excited!

We were going to leave around 10:00 in the morning. Drive the hour and then picnic and walk along the beach.

Right before we left I received a call from my sister telling me that my grandma Farr had passed away. 

I am working on another post about that and my memories of her so I won't get in to that too much here.

I spent a good part of the morning and afternoon quite emotional and just thinking about all the sweet memories I have of her.

We continued with our plans and dropped the girls off and headed to the beach.

I knew once I saw the ocean I would feel better.

You know me and the ocean!

Michael and I had some good conversations about heaven and what my grandma must be doing there and that one day I would be with her again. If I didn't have the knowledge of the gospel and the strong testimony that our family will be together again, I can't even imagine how much harder this would be.

So we got to the beach and ate our subway sandwiches while watching wave after wave crash on the shore. It was stunning. A little windy..I am pretty sure I swallowed a few hairs haha. But perfectly romantic.

We walked along the beach hand in hand laughing and talking about us. We climbed on some of the rocks and found all these cute little anemones. I had a couple close calls as far as slipping goes, thankfully Michael was there! 

That night we snuggled up and watched Hitch while eating chocolate covered strawberries.

I was pretty proud of how they turned out. I mean in the past the chocolate has been a clumpy mess. So yay for smooth chocolate!

Here are a few pictures:

I love Valentine's Day. But honestly I love every day I get to spend with all my little loves.

No matter what is going on in our lives and what trials we are facing we have each other. And that is more than enough.

Daddy's school and other fun things.

It has been such good weather here that when we go pick up daddy we have to go early so we can walk around campus for a while.

Sometimes if we are lucky we get free treats!

The girls love looking for ducks. And literally squeal with delight when we find them!

It's time to go get daddy!

Both Olivia and Clara love wearing my shoes around. Especially my heels!

Homemade grape juice popsicles for dessert in the bathtub.

Doesn't get better than that!

Olivia asked for a tea party so in honor of Valentine's day I made a peanut butter and cinnamon chocolate protein shake with heart shaped toast.

Best little tea party ever!

Making valentines for all her little friends. 

(It's two days past v-day and most of them still haven't been delivered. Ha, don't judge!)