I love him.

(A paragraph in a love letter Michael gave me on April 19, 2009)

"I promise to you that I will be your safe haven, that harbor where you can rest after treading on stormy waters.  You don't have to worry, because everything's all right.  I'll be your constant Bella, your one sure thing in life. I'll honor and cherish you and respect you.  When the morning sun rays dance on your olive skin and wake you every morning, when the evening stars sing love to your ears, when our children are screaming for dinner and you don't feel as if you can stand on your feet even one minute longer, and most importantly, when the morning of the First Resurrections dawns brilliant and bright, you won't have to wonder where I am, or what I'm thinking or doing.  My devotion is yours forever, and you can fall asleep every night knowing that, just as I always have from the foundations of time, will be right by your side with my hand in yours.

I've been wanting to write this post for quite some time now, but have keep procrastinating because I feel like it is impossible for me to express in words my gratitude and love for my husband.  I want whoever reads this (mostly our children) to know how much I love their dad and that no matter what we've been through and will go through the love I have for him is eternal and only grows stronger with each passing day.

I feel like the past nine months have been some of my hardest.

I never imagined in a million years that being pregnant would be as hard on me as it has been.

Olivia's pregnancy was so different.

Physically I don't think I've ever been so sick, so tired, and in so much pain, for such a long period of time.

Emotionally I've felt exhausted, like I'm not being the mom or wife I should be.

I've felt guilty.

Guilty for laying on the couch all day while Olivia runs around making messes, guilty for having to have my husband come home from a long day of school to a messy house, a child that desperately needs attention, no dinner, no clean clothes, and a not so nice me. 

But he doesn't complain. Instead he has not only continued to fulfill his role as a student, father and husband, but he's taken over mine as well. He's cleaned, fed us dinner, picked up endless foods and treats to satisfy my neverending cravings, taken care of Olivia, and taken care of me.

I honestly can say that I've probably done the dishes 10 times these past nine months.

Without me even having to ask, he sees what needs to be done and does it.

I could go on and on about all he's done, all he's put up with, but I won't because that isn't what's most important.

What's most important is that no matter what he's been there for me, by my side holding my hand.

Just like he said in that love note 4 years ago.

And that means more to me than anything else.

Besides having such a hard pregnancy there have been other things that Michael and I have had to work through, hard things. Things we're still working through. But these things are making us stronger,  bringing us closer, and increasing our love for each other that much more.

Life isn't easy, it wasn't meant to be.

I just am grateful I picked Michael to be mine, to go through the wonderful and hard things of life with.

To be with me side by side hand in hand forever.

Despite hard times and trials.

Michael and I are so very blessed.

We are blessed to have each other.

We are blessed with the most beautiful perfect little girl.

We are blessed with another beautiful perfect baby girl who we will be meeting in just 3 short days.

We are blessed with incredibly loving and supportive families on both sides including extended.

We are blessed with a cute apartment and a car.

We are blessed with the opportunity Michael has to go to Law school and for me to be able to stay at home and be a mom.

And we are mostly blessed with the knowledge we have of the gospel, that we are never alone, and that we forever and always will be a family.

So for today and for always I am grateful for my Michael.

The love of my life, my eternal companion.

I'm so proud of the incredible person, husband, and father he is.

And how hard he is working in school so that he can support our family.

And how he's always striving to be better.

I couldn't have picked a better person to share my life with.

I love you Michael.